How to Help Someone Who Gambles

To help someone who gambles, start with a calm, private talk where you describe what you have noticed and how it affects you, then share where free support is. Look after your own money and wellbeing as you go. This guide gives you the words, the money boundaries and the services.

It is part of our Responsible gambling and psychology section. You do not need to diagnose anyone.

How can you help someone who gambles?

You can help most by staying kind, choosing a calm moment to talk, listening without judging, pointing to free support and protecting your own finances. You cannot make another adult stop. Several gambling help services note that blame rarely works.

The GambleAware guidance starts with kindness and listening, and says to avoid anything that might sound judgmental or confrontational. The Gambling Help Queensland advice adds that forcing someone to stop or get help before they are ready can do more harm than good.

Why is it so hard to do this alone?

Gambling harm rarely stays with one person. The World Health Organization (WHO) says that for every person who gambles at high-risk levels, an average of six others, usually non-gamblers, are affected. Stigma and shame often prevent people from seeking help, so many families carry this quietly. See the WHO fact sheet, published 2 December 2024.

Read more: What Is Problem Gambling? A Plain Guide

The same fact sheet lists harms such as relationship breakdown, family violence, financial distress and neglect of children. It also says treatment has a low rate of uptake, with an estimated 0.14% of the population seeking formal and informal help for current problems. Anger, fear or lost trust are normal feelings, and the GambleAware NSW guide says it is not your fault.

What might you notice first?

Signs are often about money and secrecy more than the gambling itself. The NHS self-check asks about overspending, chasing losses, borrowing or selling items to gamble, criticism from others, guilt, and effects on money or health. You can use that list as a guide to what you are seeing, without labelling anyone.

• Money that goes missing, new borrowing, or items sold without a clear reason.
• Hiding how much money or time goes on betting or gaming.
• Trying to win back losses, which the NHS lists as chasing losses.
• Defensiveness, guilt or mood swings when money or time comes up.

One or two of these does not mean there is a problem. A pattern over weeks is a reason to start a gentle conversation. Our guide to the warning signs goes deeper.

How do you start the conversation?

Choose a private, quiet moment when neither of you is rushed or has been drinking, and say you care before you say what worries you. Use “I” statements about what you have seen and how it affects you. The Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services and Gambling Help Queensland give the same core advice.

1. Pick the moment. Private, calm and unhurried. Not during an argument, and not right after a loss.
2. Open with care. Say you are raising this because you care about them and want to help.
3. Describe, do not accuse. Name something specific you have seen, then say how it affects you. Connecticut’s advice is to cite concrete facts such as money borrowed and not repaid.
4. Say what you can offer. That might be listening, or helping them find a free service. You can also say what you will not do, such as lend money.
5. Listen to the reply. They may stay silent, get angry, thank you or admit something deeper. Do not interrupt or argue.
6. Leave the door open. Tell them you are happy to talk again whenever they are ready.

The table turns blaming lines into caring ones. The wording is our own.

Instead of	Try
“You have a problem and you need to stop.”	“I have noticed some things, and I care about you. Can we talk when you have a minute?”
“You lied to me about the money.”	“I am worried about how much time and money is going on betting apps.”
“Why can’t you just quit?”	“You do not have to work this out alone. There are free people to talk to.”
“I will never trust you again.”	“I want us to sort out the money together, and I need it to be open.”

What should you say at each stage of change?

What helps depends on where the person is in their thinking about change. Someone not yet considering change needs care and information, while someone ready to act needs practical help. The South Australian guide to talking about gambling harm matches advice to each stage.

Where they seem to be	What the South Australian guide suggests
Not thinking about change	Share your concerns, say you care, describe how the gambling affects you, and ask about their experience.
Thinking about change	Keep talking about the effects and the benefits of getting help, such as more money, more time and better mental health.
Getting ready	Encourage them to contact a gambling help service and offer to help them find one.
Taking action	Ask what kind of support they would like.
Maintaining change	Keep checking in and offering support.

Should you give them money?

Usually no, not as cash. Get Gambling Facts says experts advise against giving or lending money because bailing a person out lets them avoid financial consequences and keep gambling. Gambling Help Queensland also says not to let anyone apply for loans or credit cards in your name. You can still say you will stand by them.

Read more: How to Set a Gambling Budget and Time Limit

A practice often called enabling means shielding someone from the results of their gambling. Central Coast Gambling Help, a government-funded New South Wales service, gives examples such as covering debts with cash or making excuses for the person. It also lists safer ways to help, shown in the table.

Instead of	A safer way to help
Handing over cash for a debt or bill	Pay the creditor directly, so the money cannot be gambled.
Covering for them with an employer, family or a lender	Say honestly how the gambling affects you and them.
Letting your own accounts be used	Keep your cards, loans and passwords separate.
Saying yes out of guilt	Decide in advance what you will and will not do, and keep to it.
Doing it all yourself	Encourage professional help alongside any practical support.

Made-up example: suppose a partner asks you for 400 to “cover” an overdue utility bill. Instead of sending cash, you offer to pay the utility company yourself. The bill is cleared, the money cannot reach a betting account, and you have shown support without funding the gambling.

Debts need dealing with rather than ignoring. The NHS names the National Debtline as a place to get help in the United Kingdom. This is general information, not financial advice.

How do you protect your own money?

Protect the essentials first. The NHS suggests direct debits or standing orders so important bills, such as a mortgage, are paid before any gambling, and asking a bank to block payments to gambling sites. Keep your own cards and loans separate.

The GambleAware NSW guide suggests agreeing a shared financial plan with transparent access to bank accounts and credit files. It is a choice for the two of you, never something done behind anyone’s back. If you feel unsafe, your safety comes first.

Blocking and self-exclusion tools

Several free tools exist, but each page describes them as something a person sets up for themselves. GAMSTOP blocks accounts on gambling websites and apps. BetStop is the Australian Government’s register, and it lets a person nominate a support person. BetBlocker is a free app, and says it will not remove a restriction before the chosen period ends.

These tools work best when the person chooses them. Our guide to self-exclusion and blocking tools explains what each one covers and what happens when the period ends.

What if the conversation goes badly, or they slip back?

A first talk that goes badly is common, and a slip is not the end. The South Australian guide calls a lapse or relapse a normal part of the changing journey. GambleAware suggests avoiding too much disappointment, offering steady support and celebrating progress. Try again another day.

• If they get angry, stop and say you will talk again later. You cannot control their reaction, only your own words, timing and setting.
• If there is a setback, ask what led up to it. GambleAware suggests writing down what happened before it, which can help spot triggers.
• If you feel unsafe at any point, step away. You do not have to support someone through anything that puts you at risk.

Where can you get support for yourself?

Free, confidential support exists for people affected by someone else’s gambling, and you can use it even if the person never seeks help. In Great Britain, the National Gambling Helpline run by GamCare is open to anyone affected, 24 hours a day on 0808 8020 133. Other countries have their own lines, listed below.

Country	Service	What it offers for family and friends
England	NHS gambling clinics	Can support family or friends as well as people who gamble. You can self-refer.
Great Britain	National Gambling Helpline (GamCare)	Free, 24/7: 0808 8020 133, live chat and WhatsApp. Supports anyone affected by gambling harms.
Great Britain	GamAnon, GamFam, Gambling with Lives	Meetings for those affected, a lived experience network, and support for people bereaved by gambling-related suicide (all named by the NHS).
United States	National Problem Gambling Helpline	1-800-MY-RESET (1-800-697-3738), by call, text or online chat, for people or those who know someone struggling.
United States and Canada	Gam-Anon	Support for families and friends. Hotline 844-475-4213, with a directory of meetings, including virtual ones.
Australia	Gambling Help Online	1800 858 858, free and confidential, 24/7 by phone and online chat, with a Support someone section.

For other countries, our guide to getting help lists free lines. GambleAware adds that you can only care for someone else well when you are looking after yourself too.

What if someone is in danger?

If anyone is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. GambleAware says that if someone threatens their own life, contact emergency services (999 in the United Kingdom) or the Samaritans, open on 116 123 around the clock. In the United States, 988 is open 24/7 by call, text or chat, including for people who want help for someone else.

What can you do this week?

Pick one small step this week: write down what you have noticed, choose a time and place to talk, or call a free helpline for yourself first. You do not have to fix everything at once.

1. Today: note two or three specific things you have seen, with dates if you can.
2. In the next few days: call or chat with a free service for family and friends, so you have a plan.
3. This week: choose a private time, use an “I” statement and leave the door open.
4. Always: pay essential bills first, keep your own money separate and say no to cash bailouts.